Taking Charge for Greater Attraction

Written by Jason St. Cyr, Jody only posted it.  

Taking Charge "What do you want to do tonight?" "I don't know, what do you want to do?"   "What do you feel like eating?" "I don't know, what do you feel like?"   Do these conversations sound familiar?  If so, you are missing opportunities to build attraction in your marriage.  Confidence, decisiveness, and leadership are qualities that women inherently find attractive.  They want to be swept away.    

Instead of turning the night's events into a debate, show leadership by planning ahead and create a special night for your woman.  If this behavior is not something that is typical for you, I have a simple way to ease into it.  Let's use the element of surprise.  Obviously, the first step is to make sure that both of you have free time on the evening in mind.  Line up a babysitter if that applies, but do not let your wife in on what you are doing.  Next, plan the events that will take place on your surprise date.  Make reservations at a restaurant or set up a candlelight dinner at home where you can cook something together (you provide the recipe and the ingredients, of course) .  Book time at the local bowling alley, or plan on laying under the stars while listening to your favorite music.  The events that take place during your surprise date do not matter much.  Clearly, you will want to avoid things that you fully know she will not enjoy.  For example, don't take her skydiving if she is deathly afraid of heights.  The point is that she will see that you planned the evening for her. 

She will be attracted to the effort, leadership, and decisiveness that went into that. Once you do this a few times, you will no longer need the surprise element.  Your woman will be in tune with following your lead.   Here is a link to 101 ideas that you can use to set up a great date: https://smartcouples.ifas.ufl.edu/dating/having-fun-and-staying-close/101-fun-dating-ideas/   One more thing to try.  The next time that your woman looks beautiful, tell her that you want to take a picture of her.  She may be flattered or think it unusual, but bear with me.  Continue to take these pictures and add them to a folder on your phone. 

The next time you are planning a date, go to the folder and select an appropriate outfit (always have 2 or 3 in mind because laundry, right?)  When you explain to her the events of the date you have planned, tell her exactly what clothing you want her to wear (down to the underwear, if you are feeling brazen) and/or exactly what makeup to wear.  This is a win-win.  Not only do you ensure that your woman is going to be looking hot, but she will be attracted to the fact that you know what you want, right down to the way you expect her to look for you.

This Post is repurposed from an original post in the INTIMACY AND LONGEVITY section.